Joys of Life

The bond that links your true family is not one of blood, but of respect and joy in each other's life.

--Richard Bach

True happiness comes from the joy of deeds well done, the zest of creating things new.

--Antoine de Saint-Exupery

          How true are above quotes???

          What are joys of life??? What does one get joy from? Simple, little things like holding a new born baby, baby’s 1^st smile, 1^st touch, 1^st hug, 1^st word or buying 1^st car or new house or getting 1^st job or salary, seeing baby taking steps, meeting school friends after a long period of time. After a long hectic day at office when you come home tired and drained and you see your long lost friend sitting on your couch, or an unexpected call from someone you loved and had lost contact, seeing flowers bloom in your garden, or fruits on your plants, seeing your kid perform on stage, or seeing smile on that person’s face who just opened up your gift, or surprise gifts from your loved ones without occasion…such small things bring such a joy in our life and a big smile on our face.

          Joy means happiness… joy is seeing the person you love, smile. Joy is in giving help to needful and see them happy.

          But in our busy day-to-day life somewhere we miss seeing these joys. Kids busy in their life fail to see their parent’s loneliness. What they don’t see that spending few time bring joy in their life.

          Similarly parents who are busy in their jobs fail to see that it's not their expensive gifts or toys which lights up their kids face but their mere presence is what makes that kid smile.

          So let’s try to bringing up those small joys in life our loved ones by giving some time to them, by making them smile. That’s really what joy would mean. And not only them, but seeing them smile will also bring joy to your heart.

“It's not how much we give but how much love we put into giving.” 

― Mother Teresa

I - Finding Myself

In present time, we have become so busy and engrossed that sometimes we forget ourselves.

Especially, we women are so busy taking care of entire household that we forget our identity.

Before marriage we are known as so and so’s daughter or sister, after marriage so and so’s wife or daughter-in-law, after kids so and so’s Mom. In our entire life time we are addressed as somebody’s wife, daughter, and mother but never as I, ourselves.

We also, in this process, somewhere down the lane we forget who we are and go on with our life.

Is it wrong to be recognized as Me, who I am? Why can't I have my own identity? We take our parents name before marriage and after marriage our husband’s. Inspite of getting good education, job, somewhere we tend to forget who we really are.

We listen to parents before marriage and after marriage act according to husband and in-laws. Why we are not allowed to have our say in some matters?

We women are trained since childhood to be behind scenes. And we sometimes get used to it.

Take for example, we mothers of kids with special needs. We are so busy taking care of our kids and their needs on daily basis that we are hardly left with time and energy for ourselves. If by chance we do find some time for us, people say “what kind of mother she is, not bothered about her child? She is having fun alone…”

Give us a break yaar…First of all we are always the worse sufferers in these matters. We are first taunted and blamed that due to us the child is not normal. Then when we try to treat the child to make them independent, they say we are wasting money. A mother’s job is a 24 x 7; 365 days job with no salary, no appraisals, no holidays, no sick leaves, no appreciation nothing… Inspite of that if we try to spend some time on ourselves, what’s wrong with that?

Aren’t we humans? Don’t we deserve a break? Don’t we need some rest? Don’t we all need some “ME” time?

Like others we too need some rest, some appreciation, some “Me” time. And after a whole day of hard work, it's a definitely and a big “YES”.

So what if we don’t get paid or appreciated, if we go on 1 day strike, you’ll realize how worthy our job is…

So enjoy your “I” moment… All humans deserve it.                  

Go for a walk, listen to music, pamper yourself in parlor, spend time with friends, and enjoy some break … Rejuvenate yourself, life must have never felt better, after you give attention to yourself.

Health is wealth

When wealth is lost, nothing is lost; when health is lost, something is lost; when character is lost, all is lost.

Billy Graham

          So true this quote is… Health is everything; if we are in good health we can achieve anything in our life. But if in bad health, nothing comes to our aid.

          In recent times health industry has flourished a lot. Gym, health care, diet clinics, weight loss clinics, you name it. But has anyone given a thought why does our generation need to spend money on all these things to be healthy???

          Our ancestors didn’t go to gym to maintain good physique, nor had food restrictions. They used to gorge on sweets and oily stuffs made from maida (white flour), sugar and oil and still used to live to complete a century, sometimes beyond that.

          Whereas now, the day we are born, food restrictions start. No sugar, no oily, fried stuff, no white flour, no white rice, no full cream milk, no butter etc…

          List of “No” is endless now-a-days. Why???

          People in twenties develop grey hair, people in twenties and thirties suffer from diabetes and blood pressure, kids as small as 3-4 years wear specs… inspite of all the advanced technologies and science why is human body growing weak???

           Prolonged use of pesticides, unnatural ripening of fruits and vegetables are some of the reasons. Why have humans become so greedy, corrupt and selfish, that for making quick bucks they are using unnatural methods to grow and cultivate food and make adulterous mixes?  

          What they forget is that “life comes in full circle”… This will not only affect others but themselves also, because their family too eats and drinks same fruits, vegetables and grains. Who is responsible for the spoiled environment and pollutions? What people have forgotten that one impurity spoils the whole balance, the whole food cycle which in turn spoils everything…?

         

           But everyone is busy with their own troubles, in their own thoughts, in their own life, who give a thought to this? When a disaster happens, everyone raise their voices, after few days they move on to new topic and the old one is forgotten.

          Can the damage be reversed? Can one person bring that change? Can we lead a healthy life? Can our future generations be healthy...?

         

We need to think about it. Health is wealth. 

Gifting - an art

          Giving someone a gift is actually an art.

          But now-a-days this art, like many others are fast vanishing. Be it a wedding, a birthday, a housewarming, or any other occasion, people give gift just because they have to and not because they mean to.

The greatest gift that you can give to others is the gift of unconditional love and acceptance.

Brian Tracy

          People are forgetting the purpose of gifting. A gift is not just a thing which is bought, gift wrapped and given. But it does mean something to the person who gives gift and to the person who receives it.

          I don’t remember whether it was an ad or a TV serial, a couple buys a gift with much care for someone. The people who receive the gift, are not happy, so they change the wrapping and gift them to some other couple. This cycle moves on to a few more time til finally it comes back to the original couple who had bought it in first place.

          I remember this ad because I experienced it. Few years back when we shifted to our new house, we had invited few of my hubby’s friends for house warming party. They were nearly 4-5 couples who had come together. One of the couple gave us a gift without their name on it. They were in such a hurry to get off the gift from their hands that I felt bit weird “why such a hurry?” But I made a note in my mind that     nameless gift is by so and so couple. Because I maintain details of gifts received, for future reference.

          Next day when we all family members sat to open the gifts, I was in bit of a rude shock when I opened the gift of that particular couple. They had given us a crystal lotus showpiece (it was a real beauty if it had been 1 piece) which was chipped off at a couple of places and a petal was totally broken off.

          Never in my life had I received such a heart breaking gift. Hubby said (as he thinks all people are innocent except his wife) “it must have broken while coming”. Though it didn’t look like that. I said “if that was the case why didn’t they write their name on the gift box?”

          What I felt was, few months back they too had their house warming, and someone must have gifted them this piece. So why waste money and time in selecting a new gift??? I may be wrong but, yes, I was hurt that day…

For me “Gift” has a special meaning for me. It is a means of expressing our love to that person. That gift need not be of a very high value. Even a 5 rupees rose has a very special place just like a 500 rupee dress. What matters is the sentiments and love behind it.

Some of quotes which I came across, and I liked it

The greatest gift of life is friendship, and I have received it.

Hubert H. Humphrey

A friend is a gift you give yourself.

Robert Louis Stevenson

You don't choose your family. They are God's gift to you, as you are to them.

Desmond Tutu

God gave us the gift of life; it is up to us to give ourselves the gift of living well.

Voltaire

Yesterday's the past, tomorrow's the future, but today is a gift. That's why it's called the present.

Bil Keane

          How true are these quotes.

Fast food craze

Fast food

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Fast food is the term given to food that is prepared and served very quickly, first popularized in the 1950s in the United States. While any meal with low preparation time can be considered fast food, typically the term refers to food sold in a restaurant or store with preheated or precooked ingredients, and served to the customer in a packaged form for take-out/take-away.

In recent times fast food craze is fast catching up, not only with kids but for all age group.

Fast food need not be junk food like burgers, French fries or street food. But now-a-days with easily available read to cook packs, meals ready in 2 minutes etc are so easily available, I feel they too are fast catching up and should fall under the category of fast food.

With couples busy with their hectic life and work schedule, who has time to cook for themselves and their kids in nuclear family? These ready to cook packs, take away packs and free home delivery menus are easily available and after a long tiring day most of people prefer to just crash on couch and gorge on food – healthy or unhealthy who cares.

But what they don’t see is its long term damage to their health. Though these ready to cook packs say, they are made from natural ingredients and have no preservatives, are they really that healthy?

Well some will say who eats them daily, once in a while is ok na ???

Once I had gone to supermarket for grocery shopping, and I notice a young couple at billing counter in front of me. Their cart was half full with these ready-to-eat packs. They were telling each other, as this one is your favorite I picked up this variety and vice versa. I don’t blame them or the companies who make them… But inspite of our busy schedules can’t we find some time to cook a healthy and fulfilling meal for ourselves and our loved ones???

No wonder present generations only likes junk food. We are depriving our bodies’ natural food and making our selves weak. People are having grey hair as early as in their twenties, diabetes, blood pressure, cholesterol and obesity are at rise.

 Few instance which I saw/heard and would like to share with you all…

One girl who is a fussy eater and also refuses to drink water, her parents give her pineapple pastry to eat (daily) and packed lemon juice/water to drink instead of water, inspite of the fact that the child is a special needs child. When asked the mother (who is a housewife and has a fulltime maid at her disposal) why you give her outside juice which is full of preservatives instead of homemade ones, she replied, who has time to prepare and give.

Another incident, an only child in well to do family, who is pampered a lot, since she doesn’t like food, her mother grates chocolates over her every meal so that she eats. Result, she is an obese child and when doctor asked her to reduce her weight and stop her junk food, mother replied “we don’t give her any junk now, except 1 bar of chocolate, 1 pack of chips and 1 burger daily.”

This is not a work of fiction but real ones. I see those two kids daily.

I agree kids are fussy, even I was a fussy kid, my daughter too is a fussy eater, but being a mother can’t we try to break these habits and introduce healthy ones. I try to make healthy food at home. I try to turn this junk food into healthy ones for my daughter.

I feel that’s why now-a-days kids have low immune to diseases and they fall sick often.

Being a parent I think its upto us to teach our kids healthy food habits. And as kids learn from their parents, we should start eating healthy too.

Expectations...

          

          We expect so much in our day to day life. Every morning we get up and expect our day to be good. We expect to reach on our duties, school office, and college on time. We have a lot of expectations from life.

          

       We expect a lot from our parents, spouse, kids and siblings. The list of expectation is never ending.

       

     Expecting too much leads to heartbreak and disappointment… But then does it mean that we shouldn't have expectations???

  

        As my friend Mamata says “Expectations is that one thing which is best not had but still can’t do without it. Some expectations result in disappointments and some into a fulfilling feeling of happiness… but then that’s life… what’s life if you don’t expect from people you love, do the best you can for everyone and try not to burden them with your expectations…”

          What’s wrong in expecting from people we love? We expect our parents to understand and help us… Similarly  they expect us to fulfill their wishes and take care of them in old age… we expect our spouses to understand our feelings and viceversa… we expect our kids to listen to us and fulfill our wishes…

          But yes, too much of anything is definitely harmful. So why not give our best to our near and dear ones and be happy.

Daughters ...Blessing in disguise

Today’s alphabet is “D” and what’s better topic than Daughter…

Somewhere I had read “A Son remains son till he gets married, but a daughter remains daughter throughout her life”

Though I don’t fully agree with this quote, it’s true in some cases. A girl adorns various roles through her life span, role of a daughter, role of sister, wife, daughter-in-law, mother, sister-in-law, mother-in-laws etc, but role and duties of a daughter never ceases.

Being a daughter myself, I realize how difficult it is sometime to balance our roles in both households, as a daughter and as a wife/daughter-in-law.

Sometimes we have to take sides, which is heart breaking. Though sons too have various roles to play, it’s always the daughter who comes to rescue.

But I would say it’s not always the case… As we say each coin has 2 sides, similarly each role too has 2 faces.

I have seen some daughters fight with each other for parental money, or house. Some, abandoning their parents, for sake of their money or property.

  As I said each story has two sides. Some parents treat their daughters well, and some treat her as an unwanted person, some daughters are treated like princess and some as servant…

Previously arrival of daughter was treated as a curse in households, even now in some places if a girl is born, people are disappointed. But what I don’t understand is you people need a wife to take care of you and bore you kids, cook food and look after your parents, you need a sister to tie Rakhi on your wrist and to boss on her, you need a mother to nurse you when you are ill, feed you when you are hungry, you need a woman to do all the duties, but then why, when a daughter is born she is not welcomed in your heart, life and house.

Even today I have seen many parents mistreating their daughter. But what I don’t understand why be partial with sons and daughter? Why they forget that their wife is someone’s daughter, their mother is also someone’s daughter, your sister also, then why is your daughter not welcomed???

Being a daughter and having one myself, I feel daughter or son, why differentiate. Now-a-days, wherein people are opting for 1 child per family, just imaging if there are no girls, how the circle of life will move forward. It’s called balance of life; we need both males and females for taking our generation forward.

Stop treating females as just a thing to vent your frustration, anger or taking revenge. They are also humans with like others with flesh, bones, feelings and wishes just like other…

Daughters or sons treat them as equal, teach them not to differentiate or feel different or superior or inferior to other sex…

We shouldn’t teach Daughters how to dress but to teach our sons how to treat a Girl…

“One of the greatest gifts I've ever gotten is my daughter.”

Ace Frehley

Care for a Catdrive ...

Today’s alphabet is “C”…

In school we have learnt C for Cat and I know today cat-lovers are having a field day. Though I don’t have pets at home, I love pets.

This photo was clicked by me, in our complex. I liked the way the cat was sitting comfortably on the vehicle. But it ran away as soon as I moved towards it to click a closer picture.

It was like, asking “Care to take me on a drive, meeeoooww”.

Blog, Blogging, Blogger...

Today’s Alphabet is “B”… so what’s better than writing about how I started blogging and how it helped me.

“A blog is your best bet for a voice among the online crowd. It's a personal website, packed with features, as easy to use as your e-mail”.

3 years back, before I started blogging or I knew what blogging was, I was trying to find means to express my feelings to like-minded people, rant my frustrations, find people who’ll understand and help me without being judgemental.

Around that time, Janaki, who is a very good friend of my family and who always guides me during my troubled times, had started blogging and I used to read her blogs.

I felt that this might be the way, which might help me discuss problems faced by parents in bringing up a special child. Yes, this was title given by me when I started, till I changed it few months ago.

Like all others, I too stumbled, fell down, got hurt. I felt bit low, as I didn’t get that much hits or comments or likes as other’s blogs did. But then, Janaki would always tell me not to lose heart, keep writing, keep reading other’s blogs, and keep improving. Initially everyone hits road block, but then give it some time.

Due to my hectic and busy daily life, writing blogs became occasional affair, but whenever I wrote I really took off load from my heart and made me feel better.

Now, it’s been 3 years since I started my personal blog and 1 year for my food blog, I must say, I am happy to be a blogger. It helped me evolve as a person. It helped me revive my writing skills, got to meet so many new and interesting people from various parts of country and world and also from various paths of life.

Blogging helped me find a new Me.

“Put your blog out into the world and hope that your talent will speak for itself”.

Diablo Cody

Aparna, my name...

Juliet:
"What's in a name? That which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet."

Romeo and Juliet (II, ii, 1-2)

    
      When I was in school I never loved my name “Aparna”, as everyone, used to tease me “Appu” as my pet name which I hated.

       As I was bit fat, I used to dislike it when my schoolmates used to call me Appu.

       I disliked my name because it didn’t have any meaning (according to me).

       So one day, after having a bad day at school, I stormed in my house and asked my parents “What made you select my name as Aparna? Didn’t you get any other name? I hate my name…” And I started crying.

       Papa came near me, hugged me and said “Why do you hate your name? It’s another name for Goddess Parvati, Lord Shiva’s wife.”

       But still I was never happy with my name, till I got married. As a custom after marriage, a girl’s name is changed. Some prefer to make the change official or keep it as a pet name in husband’s house.

       Well I decided to keep my 1^st name same and changed only surname. But it was always a relief whenever I heard someone calling me by my childhood name “Aparna” and not “Rachna” my name after marriage.

       Even now my friends keep calling me by various names like Appu, Aps etc… but still I love it when someone calls me “Aparna”.

       On searching the net finally I came to know that Aparna means A= no, parna = leaf, or leafless. Though I still don’t know what it means, but I LOVE my name Aparna.