Monday, April 23, 2018

T for Teenage Tantrums





          Teenage…an age wherein too many changes happen... As my friend Bindu says “They neither fit in kids section nor in adult section; not only with reference to clothes but also in case of physical, mental and emotional level too.”

          Teenage is an age where we are confused about the changes happening in us.

          Also, teenage is the make or break point of life, as teenagers are the most misunderstood by near and dear ones. Though they are still kids stepping into their adolescence they are expected to behave like grown-ups or vice versa depending on the situations.

          Many of us have teenage children and have been through that stage ourselves…

Present day teenagers are different than what we were at that stage. Today’s generations are much more clear about their goals, about their needs, whereas we used to run like headless chicken maybe and follow our elders. But today’s children have a voice of their own and they want the voice to be heard and listened.

We can't expect kids to do what we did. We need to let them go. We need to let them take their own decisions rather than follow our decisions. They are not us. We were scared of our parents and were scared to toe the line. But for today’s kids, the exposure to outside world has opened lot many doors and they can't be tamed or caged or told to obey rules.

 I have seen teenager kids of my friends, some who are really struggling with their kids as they want to follow their rules, whereas some are friends with their Moms, who allowed them to fly and soar and reach the skies.

Rather than telling them, they are difficult, I think we should bend ourselves a little and be in their shoes and think, why are they being difficult?

I know many will say “what will she know about handling a teenage tantrum?”

Well, handling a verbal teenager is much easier than handling a non-verbal teenager. Trust me. Understanding my daughter’s mood swings have given me terrible mood swings.  Anyways I have seen parents who don’t understand their children who voice their expectations and cry for help, then mine is non-verbal. She can express herself only through actions which itself is sometimes hard to interpret.


So rather than telling them, they are wrong, I feel it would be ideal if they are understood and you gain their confidence and trust. It doesn’t mean that one must always give in to their demands. But being strict and open-minded surely will help.

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10 comments:

  1. Thnx appu... for an advance information on how i am expected to behave n what tantrums i should be expecting in future....

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  2. That is a tumultuous time in our lives, and a challenge for everyone, including ourselves.

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  3. The teenagers these days do seem much different than the ones when I was growing up. Many are so involved, focused, and busy - way beyond what I remember teens in my high school being.

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  4. I feel parenting has got to be the toughest job ever. A big salute to those who do it painstakingly and so selflessly. Parenting teenagers must be such a thin line between being strict and being free with them. In today's world, the kind of exposure they have, the options, the gadgets, the freedom, the peer pressure - it's a whole different world beyond comparison with the one we grew up in! The circumstances we grew up in and the one that they are growing up in are so different, we cannot even think that the same ideas or thoughts would work. It's a huge learning process, for parents as much as children! And I only hope that both can remain patient with each other! Strength to you and your efforts, Aparna!

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